Must Love Dogs (2005)

http://imdb.com/title/tt0417001/

As far as movies go, you "must love dogs" to like this one. The story is totally predictable, the dialogue is banal, the direction is wooden and the pace can be charitably described as glacial. The movie is like that battery rabbit-"It just keeps going and going and going".

Yes, it's a 'chick flick', but that doesn't explain why this one just lays there. Yes, we have the requisite gorgeous and intelligent female protagonist who inexplicably thinks she can't enter into a relationship. We have the sensitive "diamond in the rough" man who doesn't yet realize that he is damn near perfect. We have the standard misadventures until they realize they are Meant To Be Together. So what's wrong?

I wouldn't have believed it possible, but someone has actually made Diane Lane uninteresting. You really don't care about her, and it's hard to tell if she cares about the men in her life because she really cares or because she thinks she should care. She eventually meets two men who seem great and there are a few humorous incidents, including the "search for condoms", but mostly it just excruciatingly drags along.

One problem they write themselves into is that the guy who is a "rival" to John Cusack (whose character also has no charisma) is such a great guy. The only way the writers know how to handle this is to have him turn out to be an ass. Problem is, this is totally out of character relative to how he's been in the entire rest of the movie. Diane Lane then has no choice (after the standard epiphany of self awareness) but to fly to the man who basically is second choice. In other words, "We belong together because who I'd rather be with is a bum and I choose you by process of elimination".

The real flaw is here is that none of the characters have any depth or are particularly interesting. "Chick flicks" can be well done and fun, just go back about 10 years and ask Meg Ryan or Sandra Bullock. They aren't though, when everyone walks through "Chick Flick by the Numbers", which is what we have here. Come to think of it, that would have been a better title for the movie.